“I'm not sure yet. I'm on standby. Ill let you know. I may need to borrow a shirt if we go out. I got guacamole on this one.” -Smokehopper

Today Smokeheads El Smokeador and Smokehopper unite to
jointly post the greatest and most amateur blogging this blog has ever seen: Ranchbrisketz. Ranchbrisketz should not be taken lightly, you could burn down the whole ranch (not advised). If you treat them right, they will treat you better and provide a bounty that will last at least a week.

Or at least that’s what this German guy told me once. I’m not sure though. It might have been a dream. Maybe THIS is a dream.  In fact this whole deal reminds me of the time that I caught a wizard and a magician making out, right square in the middle of one of my daydreams. It was APPALLING. -Smokehopper

 - El Smokeador

Anyway Smokeheads, we made brisket and two dishes out of that brisket. So Come along a ride on our fantastic voyage. Smoke smoke smokity smoke, Hittin switches on the block in a sixty-five. YEAAAA!

Do not come along on our fantastic voyage.  Coolio turned out to be not so cool didn’t he. 

Back to the meats, started preparing the brisket at 4pm on Friday, rubbing it down with a glorious mix of spices, salt, pepper and brown sugar.  A little horse dander is a nice addition, (gross! – Smokehopper).  We put it in the smoke unwrapped around 5 with the full intention of leaving it overnight.  Twas not to be. 

Unfortunately, the winds of change, and the actual real winds decided to get gale force this evening and presented a pretty serious fire hazard. We had to extinguish the smoke fire, and finish it up in the oven. Ovens may show lack of commitment but burning down ranches shows lack of ranches. We could not ride the wind train into oblivion, despite how sweet that sounds. So we put it in the oven all night and it was delicious. 

The brisket was a soupy mess at 9am when I pulled it out of the oven (F-).  Internal temp was about 190, and it lacked a good bark.  That said it was damn near impossible to slice evenly, as it was falling apart.  I know there is a science behind why the smoker produces better bark than the oven, but I do not plan on using the oven ever again.  So it doesn’t matter.  However, Alton Brown has been contacted and we are eagerly awaiting his response.  We were able to slice up a good portion of the brisket, but used the majority for chopped meals.

El Smokeador is a perfectionist and he hates ovens, but what he forgot to mention is that the brisket was crazy delicious. Also, we saved the soupiness mixture which could only be described as a smokey, beef stock/beef fat mix (pictured below). We put it in the fridge and let it separate.

Anyway, after it was chopped, we wasted no time and set to work on Brisket Breakfast Tacos!

First, Pico de Gallo (which I think means chicken pieces) We finely chopped: Onion, Jalapeno, Tomato, Garlic, Cilantro, added lime juice salt and pepper and let sit in the fridge for a while until we were ready to serve.

Second, Eggs. We finely chopped green onions, oregano and thyme and added them to 8 or 9 eggs. Salt and Pepper and a medium heat scramble. (There are no pictures of us scrambling eggs. This blog is not about scrambling eggs.) (not yet at least).

Third, we took the brisket out of the fridge, added some of the remaining brisket juice, and some BBQ sauce to let the mixture heat and rehydrate in a sauce pan.

Finally, we reheated flour tortillas in the oven, and served with shredded sharp cheddar. Here is the final product.

Goodness gracious they were good. I didn’t really know how well the eggs and the brisket would go together. Honestly the idea of the texture of the combination of those two didn’t sound like it would work….BUT IT DID WORK! (I told you. - ES) Truly, they were excellent. Anyway, I’m proud of what we accomplished that morning. And now Smokeador will tell you what we did that afternoon. (Other than Bible study)

And on the 8^th day, the Lord created…..Bris-Ket Na-Chos. Clap clap. clap clap clap.  We decided that a good precursor to burgers would be a nice appetizer of chips with brisket, cheese and jalps covering them (nachos).  Because who doesn’t need three meals consisting of beef in them in one day?  Not us.  Again, Smokehopper used some of the rendered brisket juice with some bbq sauce to rehydrate the brisket and we were off.  

Chips in pan (This blog does tell you how to put chips in pan.  Look at the picture.  Now you know)

Brisket on Chips

Cheese on Brisket

Jalps on Cheese

In the oven and finished product.

Claire’s hand.

We served Guacamole with the Nachos, which pretty much consists of the pico de gallo described above, but roughly chopped along with the addition of avocado and maybe some southwestern chile type spices. I can’t remember. But I normally would do that. You know something is good when you leave it at a party for 7 minutes and it is COMPLETELY gone…including every last spoonful of the Guac. This is good use of Brisket.

 

Anyway, thanks for reading Smokeheads, we appreciate it. It was a wonderful weekend which was also packed to the gills with “Blogosphere Gold”*.  Also, thanks to my wonderful parents who let us use their amazing ranch.

*The term “Blogosphere Gold” is the sole intellectual property of SmokeHopper, and is protected by international copyright laws.**

** No it isn’t.