El Smokeador y Smokehopper: Picnic One Trillion

Its Spring time People! Lets get outside and do some stuff. You...you on the Couch! Get out there and be somebody. Punch nature in the face and take exactly zero prisoners while doing so. You may be wondering how to do this on a limited budget. The Answer is picnicking...TOO THE EXTRME. But really just going on a picnic will qualify.

For my picnic meal I chose to make BLT's. But after I went to the store to shop for the B the L and the T, I saw some other good stuff and decided to make BATAMO's. Which of course is a Bacon-Arugula-Tomato-Avocado-Mayo-Onion sandwich.

For my picnic destination I chose the Fort Worth Botanic Gardens because it is (1) awesome and (2) within walking distance. Anyway, we cooked some stuff prior to departure, and we assembled the rest on the garden grounds. Keep reading if you want to know more about this. I assume this is why you are reading a blog. This is what blog reading is.

Step 1: Buy some quality food gold (aka bacon). This is Cherrywood smoked bacon. I didn't buy Applewood smoked bacon because when I looked at it in the butcher's case, it reminded me of an Applebee's ad. Way too much talk about applewood smoked bacon these days. I mean, I bet its good but...you know. I'm just sayin.

I cooked it in the oven for a while and took it out and let it cool. There are no ovens in the wild, so you have to cook it before hand.

Step 2: Make Mayo. If you don't know how to make mayo, its time to get with the picture. Its roughly twelve parsecs better than store bought mayo. But truthfully, store bought isn't bad, but if you have the ingredients sitting around, oil, lemon, vinegar...then I just make it. Thats what I say. (Note that raw egg is dangerous . They have special pasteurized eggs you can use to avoid this danger.)

Chop up some tarragon.

Mix it up in the Mayo.

Now you have tarragon Mayo. POW.

Next, you have to toast the bread. These rolls that I bought were like little bowling balls. I took out 88% of the bread and toasted it. I show you the empty bacon grease pan next to the untoasted bread, because the bread surface may have taken a trip through the cherrywood smoked bacon grease prior to going under the boiler. (it did) Toast until thoroughly toasted.

Next, make homemade cream of mushroom soup. Definitely don't get it from central market. Its just way too delicious and easy to do that.

(I bought this at Central Market.)

Next, put these things in a bag, grab a knife a cutting board etc.

Heres the full load we packed up. Note the arugula, strawberries, rose sparling wine, orange juice, and the thermos with the soup. Note them because they are there.

Get a Picnic blanket.

Start Hiking.

We chose a spot not far from these trees. Pretty secluded. Not too crowded. Not too much sun, not too much shade. We pretty much found the goldilocks zone of picnic spots. I'm actually starting another blog solely dedicated to the picking of picnic spots. It'll be ready next never.

The Picnic:

Have some soup because you're hungry and you deserve it.

Make a Mimosa because you're thirsty and you deserve it. By the way, I got rose' sparkling wine at the store instead of champagne because they were all out of the little champagnes. I was a little worried about how this would mix with the orange juice and I must tell you that it turned out wicked awesome. I may never go back to standard mimosas ever again.

(its cool to drink mimiosas...right?)

Assemble Sandwich as follows. I assembled them upside down for some reason. Anyway at the top goes the tarragon mayo, then the arugula, then the tomato, then the red onion. I put more red onions on there than is shown.