Monday, March 16, 2009

The Gloucestershire Union

Stop! Chicken time. Every time you see me, the chicken is so hype. Its chicken go chicken M.C. chicken go chicken, and the rest can go and play, can't smoke this. (BANG!)

Before we start, has anyone else seen the Central Kia Obama lookalike? Its super creepy. "Buy a Kia". No thanks.

Smokeheads, a wedding is a beautiful thing. I went to one this weekend, went to another the weekend before that and I have another just a few weeks away. As I attend these functions I can’t help but notice the simple elegance and design of the services. The clear aim of the ritual is all geared toward the idea of a union, a merging, the creation of something new, something greater than the sum of its parts.

This dynamic is also a useful way to describe the hobby, nay art, NAY LIFE DECISON of meat smoking, in which animal flesh is united with pecan smoke, heat and spice. Pretty much here’s the deal. You’ve got some chickens sitting around, not really doing anything. They're worried about the economy. They're not sure if they paid the water bill. Pretty standard really. Then all of the sudden there's a fire in the closet and god reaches down and rubs spices on the chickens. He then murders them with smoke.

I'm not sure where that was going, but I smoked some chickens and I think that is important. Or should I say "blogportant". (I shouldn't have) Anyway…the idea was turkey legs but Central Market was out. (Gasp!) The infallible has failed me. But they had chicken so I got that instead. With my drumsticks and two whole roasters in tow, I took them home and fired up Lupe, my smoker. Thanks to Msmoke for the name suggestion. It is both meaningful and nonsensical on several complex levels. I love it.

The Chicken:

The Rub:
Weddings weekends can lead to being lazy, and laziness breeds mentally hampered cooking creativity. Using this mathematical equation I was able to determine several things. First, I forgot to pay my water bill. Second, instead of making a new rub, I'd simply mix all of the old rubs stored in my spice cabinet to make a SUPER RUB which of course is purely non sexual.
Anyhow, for anyone who wants to know what was actually in the rub I don't really know. It was spicy and sweet and delicious. Some amalgamation of chile piquin, cinnamon, onion and garlic powder, salt, sugar, dried herbs, etc etc. But I have no real idea. The data has been lost. There's no turning back now.

I put the remote thermometer, or my “thermo-remo” into the center of one of the chicken breasts, and pretty much let them sit. I put a few of the drumsticks close to the fire box so we could have some appetizers. It was a beautiful day at the house.

All in all the chickens took around 3 hours to get up to temperature. I tried to keep the fire around 225-250, but in all honesty I wasnt paying all that much attention. Here are some pics. It all turned out delicious.

On a related side note Smokeheads, when I was done carving up the chickens I found a shimmering pool of chicken fat, cooked spices, and juices all over the cookie sheet I had used to transport them. I’m not sure what this fluid is called or what its good for but lord knows I wasn’t going to throw it away.

Perhaps, just maybe perhaps, I’ll heat it up and use it as an oil substitute in a vinaigrette for a smoked chicken salad….Muhahaha! Fear me world! I’m crazy enough to do it! If anyone has any ideas of what to do with the fluid please let me know in the comments section. I’m sure vegetables sautéed in it wouldn’t be terrible either. Oh cooking with Lard, why must you be so naughty?

Anyway, thanks for reading again smokeheads, and thanks to all of the wonderful couples who have invloved me with their wonderful weddings. Turkey Legs soon.


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El Smokeador said...


Dave Motheral said...

Wow - that does not sound like it it good for you!

GRANDE said...

You need to do a Pork Butt next. Just a suggestion from Grande down in the ATX. Awsome Blog btw

Peter said...

That chicken grease needs to be used to start a paella or risotto. I agree with the pork butt suggestion by the way.

dlanc said...

Used the burger guide tonight. You guys are the coolest.